So Donald Trump won 56.8 percent of the vote in Missouri -- and Republicans swept a host of statewide offices previously held by Democrats, from governor to attorney general to secretary of state. 2016 has proven that Missouri is no longer a swing state. It's bright red -- and only getting redder.

Which means we need to face the music, St. Louis. We're stuck in the middle of a rural backwater so embarrassing, our best bet may be a proposal to split off and form the 51st state. Barring that, maybe we should think about packing our bags and departing this ass-backwards state.

If you love St. Louis but can't stand the train wreck that is Missourah, here are eight municipalities to which you might want to consider relocating.