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37 Scary Thoughts That Keep People From St. Louis Up at Night

By Riverfront Times Staff on Fri, Sep 14, 2018 at 11:34 pm

Some of them are built into our DNA. Some of them we have to learn. But all of these things will send shivers down the spine of any true St. Louis resident.

Just thinking about some these situations might cry or panic a little bit. So if you don't want to be freaked out, please stop reading now.

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Getting the cheese stuck to top of your Imo's pizza box.

Walk very carefully when carrying this precious cargo.

Photo courtesy of Jaime Lees

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Getting stuck in an Arch pod.

Dude, those things are tiny.

Photo courtesy of Thomas Hawk / Flickr

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Even the tiniest amount of rain on the highway.

Cut your speed in half or run into every dumbass out there.

Photo courtesy of erika dot net / Flickr

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County people coming into the city

They're going to ruin it all.

Photo courtesy of Paul Sableman / Flickr

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County people not coming into the city.

Enjoy your culture-less outlet malls, suburbanites.

Photo courtesy of Paul Sableman / Flickr

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Calculating the 5th dimensional algebra that is intersection of Morganford and Gravois.

You're guaranteed to see your life flash before your eyes every time you try to drive through this one.

Photo courtesy of Google Maps

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A Joy FM sticker on another driver's car.

If you see these you know it's time to pray. These bad drivers bring on human extinction.

Photo courtesy of Paula Wood

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The Cardinals not making the playoffs.

Recurring nightmare.

Photo courtesy of wintersoul1 / Flickr

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A healthy diet devoid of fried foods.

Is that even possible?

Photo courtesy of Fox 2 News

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Seeing a Chevy Tahoe in your rearview mirror.

Are you a cop? Seriously. Why would you buy that vehicle if you didn't want people to think you're a cop?

Photo courtesy of British Columbia Emergency Photos / Flickr

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Hearing a big boom.

Fireworks or gun shots? Go outside and find out? Probably not.

Photo courtesy of Paul Sableman / Flickr

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Just regular ravioli.

Shudder. Why would you not fry this?!? It could be so much tastier.

Photo courtesy of Jim, the Photographer / Flickr

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Starving to death in a snowstorm that brings two whole inches.

Did somebody say snow? Hit the panic button, we're all going to die! #FrenchToastAlert

Photo courtesy of Susanne Nilsson / Flickr

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Room-temperature Provel.

We want it boiling or cold and in worm-form only.

Photo courtesy of ann-dabney / Flickr

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Stan Kroenke hiding in your closet.

Get out the holy water.

Photo courtesy of PETER POWELL/EPA/NEWSCOM

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The city privatizing literally everything to pay for one working garbage truck.

Soon every road will be a toll road, mark our words.

Photo courtesy of Cara Spencer

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